“Whether you like it or not, they exist.” – Erika Amber
I agree that it is easier to live in one’s own comfortable “bubble,” but it is precisely the unpleasant things that shape us as human beings and as individuals.
With “Wolf’s Daughter,” I dove into topics that many of us keep hidden even from ourselves: addiction, childhood trauma, relationships with parents, bullying, and emotional insecurity.
What I wanted most was to examine and understand more about whether they are triggers or consequences. What is lurking beneath anger and fear, and why do some people choose to destroy themselves? At least, that’s how we see addiction—a destruction. All of this is not merely an echo of the past. They are roots that begin in childhood and continue onward, shaping our relationships, choices, identity, and perception of ourselves and the world.
Our experiences don’t just shape us—they also take something away. Every trauma or painful experience comes at a price. And everyone pays that price differently.
A person who constantly feels lonely, angry, irritable, and afraid to be in a relationship, afraid to be themself, and afraid to be rejected avoids delving into problems because they feel misunderstood and are afraid of pain. For us, this is excessive sensitivity or weak emotional control. For them, anger is a defensive mechanism.
It is a manifestation of internal pain. Anger is the only acceptable emotion, because all the others—the weak ones—were forced to suppress.
Research shows that after childhood trauma, changes occur in the human brain. In short, the neurological response changes. What is normal for us is not normal for them.
In “After You Left,” I analyzed emotional manipulation, the cost of silence, guilt, shame, and insecurity in making choices. Society has a big role in our lives; it has a great impact on our view of the world, our decisions, and most of all, our fears.
I do not force an answer. As an author, I consciously avoid imposing my opinion or saying what a character “should” have done. My life path and those of my characters are different. They have their own stories, their own obstacles, wrong turns, and motivations that are worth unraveling.
It’s important to me to invite the reader to observe, understand, and delve deeper. To look for reasons, not to assign blame. To unravel the logic behind their choices and seek what lies beneath their outward behavior by asking, “Why did the character act one way rather than another? What traumas shaped their choices?”
If we knew the full context, would we still judge them the same way? Or might we have made the same choice ourselves, even though we think we wouldn’t? There is no single right path. There is no single answer. There is no single “right” character. In my stories, I don’t look for someone to blame—I look for truth. Sometimes it’s only through painful honesty that we can finally see ourselves—or others—more clearly. To understand instead of blaming.
Author
Erika Amber
